julchen11 (julchen11) wrote,
julchen11
julchen11

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Happy Halloween!!!



Title: Hell's angels
Pairing: C/Z
Rating: NC17 (just to get sure)

Have fun, friends!

Dante once said that sinners go where it is dark and dank to the hot lower region down where Hades rules.

But do we really know if people go there after loneliness has got to them?
The evil watches me, the evil's eyes not knowing... not knowing of what they see.
Loneliness isn't supposed to be a burden, pain, sorrow - not only,
it can be a time of solace, depress, stillness as well ...
never to be shared, never to be understood.

Thoughts of life and love meaningless to anyone but myself are running through my head.
Nobody can reach the place where I am.
Never.
Sometimes I hope to reach the place where "they" are. Where Hades rules.
If I listen carefully deep deep inside my head, my heart, my soul it scares me that I COULD reach this place.

But I feel different these days.
Happiness. Is it happiness I feel? Pristine, pure, un-shadowed by laughter, smiles and the joy of ... company?
I would go further on. I have to look forward even though the dark won't go away, even though I will never fall asleep - another never ending night laced with nightmares and doubts. Sparking a fear but unlike nightmares awakening will not vanish it for the darkness is too strong to allow any rest.

Memories merge into ghosts ...
dreams into spirits
too vague to remember
too important to forget.

All that pain because of one little wound?
Frustration, anger, hate about myself
confusion, depression, distraught about the rest of the world.

Taking the black cape from the hook I know what to do, exposing my teeth to a devilish smile.
I know where I have to go, where pale flesh is awaiting me, where blue eyes will be piercing me.
It is the place - a must  - I have to go now - attracted by an invisible magnet.
To my personal angelic hell.

He speaks to me softly - is there worry on his face?
Does he really care?
Or is this another act of worthlessness?

I'm like a prisoner getting devastated under his hands.
I believe that I have already destroyed too much ... so whatever happens it's the rightful punishment.
His voice is far too close, that scares me. I'm trying to escape ... and yet
I won't.

He follows me down to the emptiness of my inner-self, exposing the carnal desire.
I feel my hands tied when he moves in a haze.

I'm biting my lips, so hard that it hurts - that's what I need, that's what I want .
I should get up before it ever gets too late but I want... need... desire... and I feel... I feel.... I feel...
I taste ... blood.

His body is already glistening with sweat - his warm body on top of mine drives me wild.
I can't do anything, I won't do anything to get me free though if I would like to ... I could because I'm so much stronger than he is.
I thought it a game, a treat and now it's me being the victim... willingly.

He touches me on spots nobody ever touched...
He kisses me to ecstasy on places I couldn't imagine someone ever would ...
Pointed knees will leave marks on my upper arms... black and blue... while he's moving.
He's the aggressor ... but is it me being the victim?

Cold and hardness - he's so close but yet out of my reach.

I am defeated, I have no chance - as if I would like to get a chance. A chance for what?
Every hum of him, every crash brings me closer ... to my fate and doom of oblivion.

I'm watching him as the rays of the full moon tangle up around his face and body
being awed more and more each second.
The moonlight seems to love him, want him, desire him as much as I do.
I'm jealous.

He's mine!
Or am I his?

"Tell me you never wanted this..." he growls while he moves on and on ...
my hands are clutching the pillows, I nearly can't breath ...
His smile seems to be pained, but looks can be deceiving.
His moves are those of an expert, hitting every nerve I have.
I'm fighting the urgent demand to scream and I'm forced to never let him out of sight.

I have to struggle to accept a new kind of discipline,
a discipline that threatens to enslave me in a world of ecstatic pleasures.
I can feel him probing into my brain with his icy fingers of telepathy,
teasing and caressing, poking and scratching at my mind with his being.

He bends down, framing my face with iron grip. His eyes are evil, blood-shot, merciless.
"Tell me you never wanted this..." he hisses against my face.
When he enters me with powerful thrusts I can feel the rush of blood in my ears,
when he bites my neck, leaving heavy marks for weeks - I can't hold back  any longer.
"I never wanted this, I never...
I always wanted you,you, Casey... Casey...!!!"

I know that he doesn't give as much as he could. He's driving me to places where thoughts vanish.
"SCREAM!" he shouts, thrusts more painful, powerful but HE isn't out of control. He never is.
No. This time I won't scream. Not this time. I won't give him this kind of satisfaction.

His hands are sneaking down my body, softly caressing, tenderly squeezing.
His tongue is like krypton to me, it always brings me down to my knees...
Is it possible to fight fire with fire?
"SCREAM!"
No. Casey caresses my face with each push, occasionally bending down to kiss me.  It's torturous.
"SCREAM!"
It's hard not to beg for mercy. Mercy!!!
There's a growl rising up - deep, unstoppable, wild and crazy.
"CASEY!!!"

At this moment he looses the bonds around my wrists and in the blink of an eye he's wrapped in my arms and he... laughs
before he bites my lips until they start bleeding again.
The drum of my heart tells me that I'm close to the edge of dying this beloved little death.
When he comes his shivers carry over to me. The screams become moans, moans become sobs ...
and I'm passing out.

When I open my eyes the sun silhouettes his lean body as he stretches, there still a little bit of taste of him in my mouth, still a little bit of his ghost...
My heart softens when he kisses away sweat, tears and fears.
"What have you done to me, Casey ..." the words a whisper of unbelieving.
I am ashamed and completely without courage.
"Things will never be the same after this night, Casey..."

He leans over and kisses me, pulls me closer and keeps the pressure on my lips. This was a kiss that is just ... wow..., and it seems to go on forever.
The kisses we share for the next minutes make me feel in a blur, it's the beginning of forgiveness and eternal love.
"I know, Zeke... another time I just want to show you that we deserve each other... in every kind of way."

One could call him an angel of beauty, but to me he's my eternal bad boy, the epitome of dangerous sex.
On Halloween only?



Have a fantastic, scary and spooky night!


Love,
Julchen
Tags: casey/zeke
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