julchen11 (julchen11) wrote,
julchen11
julchen11

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daily C/Z post

Hello again,

just finished the next typing...
Ready for the next ficlet?
As always - no beta, all mistakes are mine.

Title: "She cares..."
character: Zeke/Mrs. Tyler
Rating: none
Zeke hates boredom.
To him at these moments he thinks to much.
The last time he talked to his mother she said:
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking
we used when we created them."
He thinks a lot about this line.
He thinks about his morning. It was the shit of a start.

All because of the Connor boy.
He doesn't know why but all of a sudden he finds him electrifying, interesting and ... sweet.
He always feels tenderly drowsy when he thinks about him
like this morning before he crashed his car. He couldn't remember the hydrant at that place!
Fine. His baby was irreparable damaged!

Was it worth it? No. And ... yes. Somehow.
Why does the boy always stare at him.
He doesn't mean to let him crawl into his head.
But his body tells him another story.
Casey has a crash on him obviously. "I shouldn't be so vain..."
Slowly he has to admit he has a soft spot for this baby, too.
But no, he wasn't into boys.
Certainly he wasn't into kids.

Stokes told him he's 17.
He must be very inexperienced in ... everything.
There are no friends, no girl, he never shows up at a party.
He feels pity - maybe he could get him out of his snail shell.
Why should HE do this? It's none of his business .

He could ask him for a date.
A date? He must be mad.
A real date could be a minefield.

It means spending hours throughout the evening, throughout the entire day
and the next going deep inside - the emotions come to the surface and
that's something he can't stand.
His usual instinct is: try to ignore, flee or sedate the agony, the ... longing.

He has to talk about it before his head explodes...But there's no one he could talk about it.
Maybe he should call his mother. The relationship to her has become better
after her divorce.  Maybe she'll listen - there's always a first.
Yes. He'd call her. The last conversation they had was pretty nice and peaceful.

He dials... "Mom?"
"Zeke?"
"Do you have another son?"
"Zeke. Calm down. I'm glad you're calling, I've wanted to do this for so long..."
"But?"
"I don't know. When I thought about it I was busy or it was just too late."
"Mom. It's never too late to call me."
"What's up? You sound ... confused."
He doesn't know what to say next but then he could hear his mother's smile.
"What's his name?"
"Mom? How..."
"Mothers know. They can sense it..."
"But you don't know me. Not as good as you should..."
"Sure - I'm not the mother of all mothers, but I do care for you and I can  feel there's something on your mind..."
"Is that so?"
"Zeke. Who is it?"
And Zeke starts talking for the first time seriously with his mother.
"He's a school mate, he isn't a friend. He's a stranger somehow and yet there's
something about him that makes me feel ... warm and ... It's comforting, familiar but I'm confused and I'm not glad about it."
"What did he do to get your attention?"
"Nothing."
"Zeke..."
"He stares at me in weeks but we never talked."
"So he's shy?"
"Young. He's pretty young.He's 17."
"Why don't you do the first step?"
He inhales deeply. "Believe it or not - I don't know what to say."
"Tell me something about him..."
"He's clever, smart, handsome, interested in photography... somehow a coward."
"Why's that?"
"Whenever he gets tortured by guys you don't know
he just accepts it, no resistance, no word, nothing...
He just lets it happen."
"Why don't you help him?"
"It's not my business..."
"You like him..."
"Do you think so?"
"There's more, right? Zeke... helping him next time people hurt him would be a good start to get to know him a little better, to become friends."
"Friends... Friendship doesn't come so quickly."
"Hmmm... when he stares at you, what do you feel?"
"Uncomfortable and ... insecure, shaky and... damn. I can't explain... God, I sound like a fool."
"He touches you, Zeke. I can hear it..."
"Mom. I wish you would be here..."
"Me, too. But it isn't possible, not at the moment. Back to the boy. What's his name."
Zeke has to swallow, he never said his name so far.
"Casey. Casey Connor."
"Oh boy. You don't like him only, son. I think he's on his way to capture your heart and you can't
do anything against it."
"Do you think so?"
"Give yourself a chance, Zeke. I know your dad and I hurt you - for this I'm sorry.
But we all have to live through our wounds. When the emptiness inside ourselves
is exposed it is an enormous grace to go deeper... "
"Mom, this scares the hell out of me."
"I know. Begin gently and softly. Take it slow. Just talk to him..."
"Mom, I have to lose my reputation as..."
"You're still the king of Herrington High? Is it that important to you?"
He thinks and swallows hard. Why the heck is there a lump in his throat...
"Zeke? Talk to me."
"I should go to bed now..."
"Sure. A final  word:
Think about it. If I'm right try to accept it. You shouldn't be so lonely...
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else..., just like he is.
And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing."
"Thanks, mom... "
"Call me,Zeke. Whenever you want, ok?"
"Thanks. And bye... Take care..."
"Bye, my son..."

After the call he feels kind of relieved and more confused than ever.
Maybe he should give himself a chance.
Maybe he should talk to Casey...
Tomorrow.
The day after tomorrow.
Some day...

His mother's last words make him smile, it seems she really cares. 
"...we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing."
He promises himself to think about it the next day before exhaustion puts him in a peaceful slumber
with a smile on his lips  and a name in his mind... "Casey..."





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