julchen11 (julchen11) wrote,
julchen11
julchen11

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My computer still works ... :-)

Because it's such a beautiful Friday ...  (though I can't leave  a reply in my own journal or upload any photo)

Title: Deal
Pairing: Zeke/Casey (implied)
Rating: PG

For my dear friend romeny  just because ...

„Deal“

 

I’m at a loss.

Absolutely confused.

It didn’t start

inconspicuous.

It didn’t start

sneaky.

We never talked.

besides at school…

about school…

and even then

only few words.

Phrases.

Insignificant.

How could this happen?

It was on Monday.

In a split second

I lost my mind.

 

You entered the classroom

when I looked up

this time

you took my breath away.

You were moving

in slow motion…

at least

your swaying walk

effected on me

like this.

 

Lost in thoughts

with a tiny little smile

on your lips

you lifted your head

and looked

straight in my eyes.

Right at this moment

I wanted to die.

Murderer.

Baam!

It felt like a huge

iron hammer

hit my head.

 

I know exactly what I was

thinking then

“Goodness! Beauty!”

And I blushed.

Me.

The Tyler.

Sat there with reddened

cheeks

and a vacuum in my brain…

a vacuum filled with

You.

Casey.

 

Girls are pretty!

Aren’t they?

I like girls!

Had lots of them!

There were…

Why can’ I remember

a single name?

There’s no way out!

 

Why?

Why me?

Why him?

Why … whatever?

 

I’m acting like a

TEENAGER!

Hey!

I AM a teenager.

Get to your senses Zeke.

Calm down.

Think!

You’re  my schoolmate

and my …

schoolmate.

 

What the heck shall

I do now?

I feel sick.

Because of the boy?

No.

Because of me.

And my burning heart.

 

Daydreams dripping in a

world of confusion.

 

I have to admit:

I have a soft spot for boys.

Liar.

I have a soft spot for one boy.

For Casey.

 

I should make the best of it.

I should ignore you

(what an unbearable thought)

 …but I won’t let you out of sight

I won’t talk to you … but

how to tell you what I feel?

 

Go to bed, Zeke Tyler.

And die.

If it would be that easy …

 

It would be a pity,

wouldn’t it?

 

Make a list.

A wish list.

A what-do-I-want-from-Casey-list.

 

No.

I won’t do the last list.

I already know what I want.

But I won’t say it.

I won’t think it.

I won’t think about Casey.

Don’t think about Casey.

 

Casey.

Casey.

Casey.

Casey.

 

Fuck.

You.

Could be nice…

 

I’m a genius people say, right?

There must be a proper explanation.

Though I doubt I’d find anything

about this crap

at Wikipedia.

 

Casey.

 

C like crazy craving for

A like absorbed

S like sex

E like emotion

Y like You.

 

Deal.

I’ll make a deal.

with myself.

I’ll keep it secret.

Yes.

Once and forever.

Deal.

Deal with it Zeke –

you have a crush

On this guy.

Deal.

 

He’s like a drug.

My drug.

Won’t get rid of him.

Never.

Addicted to drugs…

Addicted to

Casey.

 

DEAL. WITH. IT!

 

For this I’d need

courage.

For the first time in my life

I like to be a coward.

Liar.

 

DEAL with the truth.

DEAL with Casey.

 

Weak-willed

Helpless

Unconscious

Incapable of resisting

HIM.

 

DEAL.


Tags: c/z; poem;
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