May 8th, 2006

elijah bear

(no subject)

Good morning friends, 

this will become a confused post I guess. 

I was sitting at the seal of my bathroom window, it’s my favourite place at home.

It is a clear night, only the stars above me. And I dreamt – like always .

It has become a habit, to remember a picture or a line I read and to think about it.

Today it was this:
 

“He slowly sat down at the kitchen table holding the painting out in front of him. For a long time he simply stared at it. Then he laid the painting down, lowered his face into his hands, and cried.”

 

I read Rakshi’s ‘The trip’ last night, the night before and this night. And I couldn’t forget those words. I was sitting nearly on the roof, stars above, and I criend and I felt wonderful.

Dreams came easily. The pictures, the words, the voices. All in my head. It is crazy? Am I crazy? Not at all. I’m glad I am able to dream, to have fantasies. Many people I know in RL can’t do it and they don’t understand.

You are dreaming sitting on the roof at night? You can’t see anything. There’s only darkness. Come in, it’s cold.

 

But here is so much more to SEE and to FEEL. It is dark, that’s right. But there are stars, the moon, sometimes hidden beneath clouds. Always an awesome view. An eyeopener and no mistake, as Samwise would say.

I feel touched, you can SEE so much with your HEART, at night you don’t need your eyes to see something clearer than you saw it at daylight. Maybe it’s the silence of the night. The moments between night and dawn are the most beautiful minutes of the day. Sometimes it’s the sunrise that makes me happy, sometimes it are raindrops , sometimes it’s the wind whispering to me.

 

Middle-Earth is a wonderful place, at this moment I feel like living it it. Right here. On earth.

Sometimes it’s easy to open your heart, to feel all the beauty around. It are the little things with all their beauty. One don’t need to pick up the stars, there are on the right place. But one can keep them in the heart, you can take one and talk to it. My heart is overflowing at the moment, so much feelings, emotions – and THIS beauty sometimes is hardly to bare for me.

I’ve got so much, I never expected this. I never expect anything. I’m simply happy, there’s a smile upon my face for days and no one can get it off.

 

Thank you friends, you don’t know how much you’re able to give.

Life is beautiful. You only have to accept it. As it is.

 

Have a wonderful night, a wonderful morning, a wonderful day.

You all mean so very much to me.

 

Julchen *hugs all of you*

 

 

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