Hi my friends!
How's your weekend going? Mine is simply fantastic! I'm alone at home until Monday and finally there's a lot of time catching up with my f-list! YAY! You guys have been soooo busy (good for me!) and I'm sitting now in my little kitchen and will get started very soon (after mopping the floor just to selve my conscience :-))
Enjoy this beautiful day! You'll see me later again.
Title: CHANGES - chapter 16: Lust
Rating: G (maybe???)
This is for addie71 just because ...
Walking back to my house I decide to follow Mrs. Connor’s invitation, if I’d hurry I won’t be too late possibly. But I’ll take a walk, no need to take my car. I need some time for thinking.
Grandpa. He’s alive, he’s close beside me and yet I start missing him somehow. No, won’t think about it now. He won’t leave me, not now. But thinking about the loss feels like the cut of a knife. I love this old man, it’s like winter with flowers. Hopefully my grandpa will feel better when I’m going to meet him – together with Casey – this afternoon. I should get him his favourite muffins from the bakery just around the corner. It seems I know more about him than I thought I’d know. Blueberry muffins. Strawberry kisses. Casey’s kisses.
I feel good. The dark thoughts are gone. What was this earlier? Aaron is just sleeping, nothing is wrong. It don’t have to be, it simply can’t be. Not now. We’ll cheer him up a bit, I’m sure. He loves playing cards … yes, I’ll ask him for a game. Or two.
At the Connors I’ll get some distraction. Maybe I should talk with Casey about it. If this gets worse.
With every step and every breath I take – in and out – my heart feels lighter. Casey. Casey. Casey. It’s the perfect rhythm for breathing.
He’s my boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. I’m going to be ridiculous. Will he be my lover soon? Wow. Lover. What a word. Usually I associate it with … lust and sex. But I can’t bring myself to associate Casey with it, can I? I’m such a big liar. Of course I can. Lust. Thinking about lust… Lust is knowing I want him, maybe he wants me too. Lust is … hmmm.. just doing it. Strike! That’s so typical me! Lust is knowing there are no mistakes. Hear, hear!
Lust is having confidence, pleasuring him slowly. Stop this,
A couple is crossing the road looking at me like I should wear my jacket the other way round because I start laughing - imagining they could see my thoughts written on my forehead. Wouldn’t it be shocking? All because of lust and Casey. This makes me laugh even harder. The visit could become dangerous and not for me. I can’t grant for nothing with Casey close to me.
Desire. Passion. Lust. Can’t get it out of my head. Can’t get him out of my head. It will happen but lust is having no choice but to wait. Yes, I’ll wait for Casey… to show up - this afternoon. I don’t mean this kind of waiting, not this exactly. Slowly my patience is failing, it’s getting harder and harder just to wait! But I have to, Casey has no clue what I really want.
Someone should warn him. The old tiger comes back. No. Not the old one. A different Zeke but still young and wild. And free with Casey.
For the second time throughout my walk I’m more than distracted finding myself stumbling without any reason. Casey is the quintessence for my irritations. How could it get started? Love making. Thinking about it makes me shiver, sweat, feeling so damned hot. He bares grace, unexpected strength … a sense of power. He has the power to conquer me. To conquer me? No way. I’m still defeated by a little geek. There’s no hope of evading, it’s all too late.
Good for me, bad for Casey. I can feel the evil gleaming in my eyes – ‘calm down,
But I can so see me seducing him … should I dare to get closer? That I will. I’m there. You’re mine, Casey. The door opens and I start kissing
Mrs. C. blushes and starts laughing “I’ll take this as a compliment, Zeke…”
Murmuring to herself “Understandable that Casey won’t miss a single minute with him.”
It’s embarrassing. She walks infront of me swinging her hips …
Fine. I kissed Casey’s mother.
Walking behind her – she’s slightly swinging her hips – makes me feel all the more confused. “Hey, Zeke! You’ve come!” Then he’s in my arms and I can’t move. The word ‘lust’ doesn’t exist at this moment.
“Mom? You’re blushing, why?”
Mrs. Connor makes it even worse “Zeke kissed me. Right on the mouth. With all his heart!”
Mr. Connor chuckles first, starts roaring with laughter a second later. Well done,
“Hey boy! Be lucky it wasn’t me…” and his laughter hollows in their huge kitchen.
Where’s the mouse hole to hide?
She pats my back, (my lower back!!!) and all of them are laughing until tears are running down their faces. I feel like an idiot but I can’t hold back a relieved sigh that makes them laugh even more.
“So mom. How was it?”
She walks around me like a cat, looking me over from head to toe – “Zeke, Zeke, Zeke… Now you started turning my head. It will be hard work for Mr. Connor to top this incredible kiss!”
What? The world is strange, not funny.
“Go ahead and make fun of me, I don’t care…”
Then Casey starts kissing me in a kind of way that nearly knocks me out.
The Connors stopped laughing, too.
Lust is back.
And I still have to learn a lot when it comes to Casey. I never expected him to purr while kissing a Tiger.