Today I had the last appointment at the doctor *yay*. I have to stay at home for another two weeks but then I'll be back at work hopefully (believe me, never ever did I think about saying THIS!!!).
I hope you're all ok and having a wonderful day!
The rose above is called "Awakening" ... I'll get this rose next week for my little garden !!!
This is for lireeli just because ...
Title: Changes - Chapter 6: Confusion
I walked along, minding my own business. I looked neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden I ran into a pretty face. Case’s face. Mentally. I began to get weak in the knees. My head was in a whirl. And then I felt light as a feather, and before I knew it, it felt like I would be walking on air.
The word “kisses!” was running through my head. He waited for me at my locker, smiling all over the face. I felt like running through fountains, I got butterflies in my belly when he caught my gaze and I blushed! There’s something about him – I can’t tell what it is … and then it happened …
“Good morning, Zeke!” Nothing special to most people but to me the most memorable good morning I’ll ever remember. I sounded like a melody… I must be crazy…
Nervousness … I remembered the description I read: Nervousness is often merely a symptom of an underlying organic and/or psychological disorder. Psychological disorder … Again he was humming that song I couldn’t remember the title.
“You do it again…”
Never forget the power of silence, Zeke Tyler, that massively disconcerting pause which goes on and on and may at last induce an opponent to babble and backtrack nervously..
“Casey, about the cake…”
“Oh Zeke …”
His smile, , sort of happiness consumed my soul, my body trembled with unknown feelings … I looked down to his perfectly beautiful face again, I could hardly breath… “About the cake…”
“and the kisses…”
“yes, and the ki… Casey? “
He just giggled and padded me on the shoulder. “It was a joke, Zeke…!”
Oh. Why didn’t I think on this? A joke. A freaking fucking joke. This hurt. It still hurts.
“Yep. That’s what I thought it was…”
He giggled again, murmured something that sounded like “OF COURSE … it’ll be a hard way to go, why can’t he just say what he wants to say…” and then he blushed. Now I didn’t understand what this meant, not at all…
Thank god it’s Friday! Weekend! More time for the things I love, more time for …
Ah, I should stop this. The rest of the morning I was lost in a world of confusion, hope and dreams. …
The cake. Praise the heavens! I’ve found the bun tray for the cakes, the mixer, bowl, rolling pin, even an old scale in my grandma’s cupboard. The shopping list was huge: flour, sugar, milk, baking powder, eggs, cream, coffee, strawberries, strawberry-flavoured gelatine powder (never heard of it), vegetable oil, napkins, cigarettes, food for Aaron’s cat Lilly, ice-cream, washing powder … It took me quite a time to get it all and it was more than a fortune I paid for the strawberries … but it should be worth it. No, they ARE worth it. Strawberry kisses… Yes, no doubt - I must be mad.
Working in the garden was impossible today because it was raining cats and dogs, so being back home I decided to show up at Aaron briefly. After I put a note at the door – just in case Casey would be too early - I took the two cinnamon-sugar-donuts I got us and the cat-food with me, hopped over the fence and before I was able to knock he just opened the door.
“Come in, boy. What a nasty weather, isn’t it? Oh, you got the food! That’s very nice!”
“Wanted to join you for a cup of coffee, got something sweet for us…”
I couldn’t imagine until now how someone can be that thrilled about a donut, Aaron beamed with delight and was all smiles.
While he was fuzzing around like a mother hen to get the coffee and the dishes, I noticed he’s cut a few additions for his “idea book” - so far as I could see roses. All about roses. This made me smile.
Oh those dishes, I remember grandma owned the same. White porcelain with a golden rim, little flowers sparkled now and then. Love this old stuff.
“Oh, I love donuts, Zeke. How did you know?” I should to this more often, no I will do this more often from now on. It makes Aaron feel good. And this makes me feel good.
We were eating in silence, enjoying each others company. He pointed to the roses pictures, they were beautiful, some of them had weird names like “Giggles” and “Irresistible”. I asked him which of these my grandmother loved most. He became melancholic, sighed two or three times , stood up and got an old wooden box with pictures of Grandma’s garden.
“These were her favourites, Zeke. It’s an old English rose, a climbing rose called “Awakening”. Isn’t it beautiful?”
Grandma’s garden, suddenly I remembered everything. The rose arches at the entrance, many flower beds seemingly in disorder but looking at the pics now she must have thought a lot about it to make them look like that. And then he showed me a pictures of him and her when they were young. “She was a beauty, wasn’t she?”
I said with amazement.
It could have been he whipped some tears away but I’m not sure, he was quickly turning around that I may not see it. I felt so close to him.
“You miss her too, Aaron… As much as I do, don’t you?”
“Oh yes, my boy. But now let’s enjoy our wonderful donut, no need to be sad – we knew her and we had a wonderful time. So how was your day, Zeke?”
This made me sigh and I wasn’t sure if I could talk about it.
“So what’s up, Zeke. There’s something bothering you…”
“It’s Casey, isn’t it?”
Is it that obviously?
“Aaron, I think Casey … flirted with me last night…”
He nearly choked on his donut and mumbled “Why do you fink fo?”
“He called me last night and talked for almost half an hour among other things about kisses…” Of course I didn’t tell him we talked about strawberry kisses mainly. But this one word …
“He mentioned the word “kisses”? Oh, how lovely…”
Lovely? He snorted and giggled. Very helpful, neighbor.
“What did he say exactly if you don’t mind me asking?”
“He said he’d take kisses from me, too…”
He smiled on, a smile that grew bigger and bigger.
“So spot on, boy. It seems there’s something going on… Dear oh dear! It seems Casey made the first tiny little step. ”
“But what am I to do? He called it a joke this morning … But you know … - for example when you start something new - you just want to do good? You just want to make sure you leave a good impression so you get a good start. This is how it should be, right? Good gracious, I don’t know what I am talking about … I made an idiot of myself… Maybe I overestimated … things…”
Aaron smiled and smiled, this got on my nerves but I wouldn’t be unfriendly. It was me bringing up the subject.
“You can’t but talk to him, Zeke. The sooner the better. When are you going to see him again?”
“This afternoon. But no, no I won’t talk about it again. It’s confusing and I don’t want to be turned down.”
“This isn’t going to happen, Zeke. As I said – I have eyes and they can see very well… Give it another try. Maybe he’s just too shy – though I doubt about it. I think you are the shy one here…”
“Come on! I’m not shy. I just… won’t make me look like a fool…”
“As I said – I’m sure this won’t happen. Take it slow and just talk. It won’t be easy but I think you already trust Casey. I want to ask you something seriously…”
“You like him more that you thought you ever would. Could it be you love him, Zeke?”
What? “Aaron, how should I know if this is love? I don’t know anything about it. Real love, I mean.”
He padded my hand “You’ll know, boy. Be sure, you’ll know it when the time is right. All I can say about it is don't find love,let love find you.That’s why its called falling in love because you dont force yourself to fall.You just fall.”
I don’t know why but I felt relieved somehow and glad.
“Thanks, Aaron. For everything…”
“Keep me on the run, my boy. I’m a bit curious I have to admit… Now go on, don’t let him wait…”
I like Aaron. He’s so honestly true! I wish he could be my prompter, now. Ok, then – let’s go home… Why the hell are my knees wobbling and my hands shaking? My heart hammers wildly … heart attack. I’m going to have a massive heart attack…