julchen11 (julchen11) wrote,

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Hello again

Hi dears,

it was a gorgeous Sunday so far! I did NOTHING!!!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Title: CHANGES - Part 4: Relief
Pairing: C/Z
Rating: PG

this is for aliensouldream    . Thanks for everything, my dear!

What a week it has been. Suffice to say I’m tired and worn out and some rest is most certainly needed. Most of the time has been spent at the roof, changing this, repairing that, always with Casey by my side. He’s stronger than I thought him to be, working like a mule. Sometimes I hope this won’t end – sometimes I wonder when it will end and things will just be as they truly need to be – sort of settling snugly into the right spot the way Lilly – Aaron's cat – does when she wants to take a nap.


I know it all makes sense though, that there is a wonderful plan and purpose to it all and that all I need is swaying along gently with it – never alone, always in company – with Aaron and Casey. We learned a lot, each new thing, trial, attempt are very helpful in the end – we finished the roof today. “WE” did it. Together.


We’ve been at the garden center today, buying some stuff for my own garden. We started to make a plan with the help of Aaron and his “idea book”. Roses. I want roses. As a memory and tribute to my grandma. Casey was surprises so I told him a little bit about her, to tell the truth I told him everything I know so far.


“And you never opened her letters?”


“No. I couldn’t. It’s something private, intimate … I don’t know if I can read them ever…”


He looks at me seriously, thoughtful and … lovingly.


“Sentimental stuff, Casey… But now let’s go on with the plan…”


He took my hand and squeezed it… “Thank you, Zeke…”


I didn’t understand… “Thank you, for telling me… “


“Thank you for listening, Casey… This means a lot…”


Casey has just gone… I can’t imagine him not being here anymore. It’s so much fun working with him, talking to him, listening to him. Even Aaron seems to be much younger now, cheerful, not so melancholic anymore. All because of him.


Casey. He’s a very special guy. Why does he always give people more than they expect? And he even does it cheerfully.


He doesn’t judge me by my parents, he never does. He let me be just me.

I don’t know what it is but he always makes me talk and he knows when silence is the best answer – answering with a rub on my back, a light pad on my arm or shoulder – this says so much. He’s a good listener listening not to what but to why I’m saying it. When he looks into my eyes it seems he’s looking straight into my head.


Now he isn’t too shy to ask something, about my family, about me – and I’m not too shy or embarrassed giving him the answers to his questions. Hopefully NOT! 


Yesterday he couldn’t make it here because of something he had to do for the school paper, Del can be a bitch, I know this too well.


Time to spend the afternoon and most of the evening at Aaron. I kind of talked with him …sitting on his balcony for many many hours without talking and yet we both said so much.


“I’m happy for you, Zeke. As I said – Casey IS a wonderful young man…”


“Yes, that he is… And he’s my friend now…”


I realized what I said few moments later … “Aaron…I have a friend, a true friend.”


Then suddenly I couldn’t hold back a flood of tears. “I’m sorry…”


“Oh, Zeke. I’m so glad, I’m sure your Grandma would be as happy as I am now…”


He sat down next to me and simply took me in his arms and I … let it happen. He’s more like my neighbour, he’s like a Grandpa and I’m glad to have him in my life.

And Casey.


“There, there … so many tears, my boy? Let them flow… sometimes we just need it…”


He rocked me like a baby and I didn’t feel stupid leaning into it.


Laying now in my bed I thank God for so much (this NEVER happened before), for my life  (and I truly mean it), for Aaron and especially for Casey.


We’ll start working at my place next week, he has a few great ideas how it should look like…


Oh yes, it’s wonderful having friends …


Zeke's right! It's wonderful to have friends!
Hugs you all!.
Tags: c/z; fanfiction; changes;

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