julchen11 (julchen11) wrote,
julchen11
julchen11

Still at work

but I'll be at home in 3 hours, YAY!



Title: A Letter for Casey
Pairing: C/Z
Rating: PG

Dear Casey,

you’re visiting your parents at the moment, so I’ll take the opportunity so tell you something. In an – for me – unusual kind of way. Tomorrow will be our 3rd anniversary. And I’m still as happy as on our very first day. No, that’s not true – my love for your grows day by day. I told you once ‘I noticed today that I love you more than yesterday’, this hasn’t changed. Last night you called me a ‘dreamer’, this made me laugh. But I had to think about it as well as about the last years.

Many thoughts were born in the course of a moment, some of them in an hour, some of them in a day. Some are still dreams, some visions. Sometimes it isn’t easy  to distinguish between them. But not all dreams are visions. It took me quite a time to accept that my inner urges became reality. Holding you tight, meeting you in my dreams is very encouraging, it makes me sure we will be together for a long long time. Time far and beyond life.

I’m not a dreamer I thought not so long ago, now I have to say I was wrong. No one, not even I for myself, has the right to limit my dreams. With you I love to explore, discover, dream… with this we’ll create our future. It’s the imaginations that create beauty and happiness, for me this is YOU and you mean everything to me. Our dreams and imaginations show us our possibilities, it simply depends on us what we’ll make of it.

You always get me with your way you’re listening, how to give me your attention.  It’s the loving silence with its power that makes me feel stronger. I love to know I am not alone, I love most to know WE are not alone. You trust me – ‘with your life’ you said, isn’t there a greater compliment?

I learned that deep inside me there’s only a single magic, a single power … it’s called “love”. I no longer fly from suffering, from hurt , from pain…

I love you – not only for what you are but for what I am when I’m with you. You are my beloved and my friend. You have this sense of wonder and mystery. I didn’t look for love, I didn’t care about it – maybe I would have discovered all the barriers within myself I’ve built against it. I didn’t search for love because love didn’t exist. Until I found you.

Every day with you feels like a beginning? Beginning? No. There’s no beginning, there’s no end. There are only middles … Sometimes I’m confused, you said it’s because I pay attention. I admire you though I don’t really understand what you are going to say. It’s your ‘fault’ that the chaos in my soul faded, and I learned chaos and order aren’t enemies, only opposites.  The dream of us, of being together with you,  was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that’s a miracle. You made me see, you made me listen, you made me feel… There are no plans anymore only belief… that we belong together.

 

Now I feel bound, yet free. That’s how I love it. That’s why I love you.  I thank God for the power he gave you to move my heart. And that you do. With every single glimpse of your eyes, with every single touch of your hands … you make me feel alive.

As I said, Casey – I feel again.

Love you,

Zeke


Have a wonderful Froday, F-list! See you later.

Love and hugs, 
Julchen

Subscribe

  • Cat update

    It's quite a time ... we got some newbies the last weeks so at the moment 11 cats are living with us. Here we go: This is our baby Isabell.…

  • Happy Weekend!

    Hi there, it's very stormy outside and it's raining cats and dogs so plan A - spending as much time is the garden as possible - is ruined. But I'm…

  • The second newie ...

    May I introduce you to Ben: Tiger brought him along 2 weeks ago. He was in a horrible state when I saw him the first time but look at him now.…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

  • 23 comments

  • Cat update

    It's quite a time ... we got some newbies the last weeks so at the moment 11 cats are living with us. Here we go: This is our baby Isabell.…

  • Happy Weekend!

    Hi there, it's very stormy outside and it's raining cats and dogs so plan A - spending as much time is the garden as possible - is ruined. But I'm…

  • The second newie ...

    May I introduce you to Ben: Tiger brought him along 2 weeks ago. He was in a horrible state when I saw him the first time but look at him now.…