This is for my dear friend lijahlover, thank you for being my friend!
Beta by my dear friend aliensouldream, Thank you, my dear for everything!
You never really know what comes next.
I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard voices through the open bedroom window. Someone was weeping? Looking outside I saw Casey … holding Zeke?!
What was going on there? I have to admit – I couldn’t stop eavesdropping.
They seemed to be very close, not only physically.
It wasn’t what I expected, though it didn’t really surprise me.
My son kissed Zeke!
A moment of … passion, so easily shared … with no regret, with no fear.
I felt a bit injured under the shadow of this power.
They whispered, I couldn’t hear all, only snatches of their conversation like ‘secrets… lies…’
Zeke turned around, facing Casey “I didn’t even live in my dreams. I never trusted anyone, especially I didn’t trust myself…” Casey replied something too quiet I couldn’t understand.
The word ‘mother’ made me listen again. It was Zeke, his voice so full of … pain.
“She isn’t sorry for hurting me, for making me cry. But no matter what happened, she’ll still be my mother and I love her, sort of… To be part of a family feels strange to me I guess,
A family where love is shown, where hurt is shared. I’m glad you’re my family now, Casey. I’m sorry for being so emotional, for being possessive.”
A mother is someone you can’t replace. He misses her so much, it breaks my heart. He’s so sad for all the time his embrace was empty of his mother, tears of agonizing pain.
My son kissed him again. Watching them made me feel weak.
“Sometimes I hated myself that much I hurt myself with … burning cigarettes, knives, razor blades. Every single scar on my arms reminds me of this time…”
I couldn’t trust my eyes, my Casey kissed every little spot on his arms, shoulders, hands.
Zeke’s head was now buried in Casey’s hands. Oh my, this kid is so hurt.
Casey whispered, barely to hear “I’ll knock the poison of pain and bitterness out of your head, Zeke. I’ll help you to face the past…”
“Casey… It’s so hard to draw the line from what I can’t control. I’m sure you’ll find the path to my fears but it won’t be easy. Not for you. Especially not for me. My only fear about us is that you’ll change when I’m away…”
Casey kissed him over and over again, very soft and gently and it simply feels right to me.
“The people at school, so many faces .. most of them have more than one. To face the past means to face those people, Case…”
It was hard to bear. There’s something special between those boys, something deeper than… than what? Love? Zeke trusts my son, he reveals the truth, I hope they’ll handle it .
It’s so sad how people you know become people you knew. My god, what have they done to him. I decided to leave them alone, though sleep wouldn’t come.
Sitting in the kitchen hours later I couldn’t get their voices, their images out of my head.
Now I remember their gazes, their slight touches, their hugs, the way they smiled … it all makes sense now. How could I be that blind?
Zeke showed up a little later, waiting for Casey. I couldn’t help myself, I just had to let him know - out of the blue to be exactly - “Come over whenever you want, Zeke. You’re always welcome.” I’ll never forget the expression on his face – shocked, sad, shy … happy, too.
He looked so young … and ran outside. Well done, Mrs. Connor. I followed him – slowly.
“Zeke?” He didn’t turn around, just whispered “Just a second, Mrs. Connor, please…”
This guy has still so many tears to cry … I wanted to take him into my arms but I only squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll call Casey…”
Casey just came home, late as always, giving me a huge hug and an incredible bouquet of summer flowers. I was surprised, then I found a little note “Thank you, Z.”
How beautiful is this? Very moving, too. Who could blame Casey for loving him? And love it is. Casey smiled at me, I think he knew, and whispered “In secret love grows when souls touch.”
I think I’ll like his boy, too. As I said ‘you’re welcome, Ezekiel
Though Mr. Connor will be a hard nut to crack.
Love you all,